Most morning at my home typically start out like this…..

6:45 am at my house….Front door wide open as I head downstairs a sudden stop in my 8 year olds sons tracks. He was headed towards the kitchen with a 3 lb toad in his hand. Yep ! Barefoot and frog hunting in the rain I informed him much to his surprise I was not a real life witch and did not need eye of toad !! God Bless little boys….. and God help me ! This morning in particular started like this…..

At 6:30 am I hit another car in my driveway. 6:35 my husband embodied the father from Christmas story. He was thrilled ! 6:40 am I secretly get everyone expensive drinks from Starbucks. Emily handed me wrong card won’t be a secret. Surely husband is more thrilled. 6:45 am I am lost in Hollywood Park & Emily spills overpriced drink all over herself. 7am I arrive at swim meet late and eat spray sunscreen trying to figure out how to operate spray bottle. Here’s a hint don’t point it towards your open mouth. 7:22 I’m about to spend until at least 2pm disqualifying sweet young children. Be jealous friends ! Happy Saturday !Also Josh Davis whom I swam with my entire childhood didn’t remember me. I introduced Myself Mindy Madden from AHAC. He said ya good times there and wished me good luck. I can either be excited that I may possibly appear to be swimming 18 & under or just assume the whole day will be this way and call it TIME OF DEATH 7:29 AM . At times like these I would rather be making a poor call of judgment and feeding my family food that  a loose toad could possibly pissed on in some adventure in my kitchen with my son!

Mahli has swam 2 of her 3 events placing 1st both times. Judah has swam 1of his 3 & took 2nd. I am so proud. Emily and Claire are doing an excellent job getting into my unattended wallet and spending money on concessions ! Proud mom of 4 winners !

There are always things that make being me a little better when I make it comparative like for instance…..

There may or may not be a teenager at the swim meet in a tuxedo Speedo. The implications of a tuxedo speedo are endless. For example the singing jazz from with a top hat and cane is in my pants. My mom wants you to look directly at my penis. My dad is proud. I will buy you lobster first.  My favorite implication is I am not the parent making the worst judgment calls….When Emily my 11 year old innocent going into 7th grade got in the car she was all “Mom there was a  speedo there that were freaking me out . It  had a tuxedo on it and the  was a bow tie was well you know where.” all I could reply was I guess he was a fancy pants

Because I wasn’t ready to give her a life lesson she would eventually learn on her own. He was just another dick in a suit.

All of this is very Nostalgic for me and I begin to almost salivate at the idea of being on the bocks again. The whistle, the horn , the race, the smell of chlorine.  So I went to a San Antonio Masters adult swim practice.

In my imagination there will be people on the side waiting to be splashed as a form of entertainment as I dive in 🙂 — at Josh Davis Natatorium. It’s definitely all about muscle memory. I made 45 minutes of the 1 & 1/2 hours. My goggles popped I had to fix them. I was overwhelmed with familiarity. .. this is what I once did on purpose to rest Then after 4 200meter IMs I rushed to the restroom incase I was going to vomit. Such nostalgia … again something I did in the past to get out of practice. Yes I SA faces of disappointment and judgement as I left 45 minutes early but again all so familiar I felt at home 🙂 fingers crossed I make an hour tomorrow 🙂

I haven’t been back to a practice yet but I haven’t given up on the idea that I will. Mostly I am hoping to exercise enough that people will stop giving me looks of disappointment when they learn my sister is a famous pro body builder. I am still losing weight by maintaining my Body By Vi  shakes 2x a day. So I am going to end with shameless self promotion because writing a blog with terrible run on sentences and poor grammar doesn’t pay any bills.

So feel free to be helpful and order from any of the following



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